love.song

SATB, a cappella

In early 2014, I was reading about a piece another composer wrote in which, like this one, they took an open-ended phrase and crafted the text out of various completions of it they found via internet search results. After listening to that work I thought it might be an interesting exercise to try that process out myself and, at that moment, I heard someone say “He loved me because...”

That seemed like it might yield some unique results, so I plugged it into an internet search engine—hence, the title (“love dot song”)—and discovered a beautiful constellation of humanity ranging from whimsical (“he loved me because he made me a mix tape”) to brutally honest confessions of spousal abuse (“he loved me because he took his gold sovereign rings off before he hit me”). love.song was the result of that process of gathering those anonymous responses into something of a narrative that runs the entire gamut of the human experience.

love.song was commissioned by The Singers—Minnesota Choral Artists in celebration of their tenth anniversary as well as the end of my 10-year tenure as Composer-In-Residence alongside fellow composers Abbie Betinis and Jocelyn Hagen.  It is dedicated with love and gratitude to all Singers past and present, and especially to Artistic Director Matthew Culloton.

The Text

he loved me because...
       ...I made him laugh.
       ...I was so easygoing.
       ...I brought out the best in him.
       ...I smelled like pomegranates.
       ...he made me a mix tape.
       ...there was a gleam in his eye when he straightened my tie.
       ...he told his mother.

he loved me because...
       ...my life seemed so manageable.
       ...I could share in his silence.
       ...he had a job to do.
       ...I have feelings for him.
       ...I never asked any questions.
       ...I accepted his secrets.
       ...I told the truth.
       ...I lied.
       ...he was sticking up for me.
       ...he didn't want me to leave.
       ...my brother lied.
       ...I liked him when no one else ever did.

he loved me because...
       ...he saved my life.
       ...that's the role I decided to play.
       ...he loved his children.
       ...he didn't have to.
       ...I begged him to stay.
       ...I needed someone to love me.

he loved me because...
       ...he had been in a bad marriage.
       ...he was jealous and wanted me all to himself.
       ...he took his gold sovereign rings off before he hit me.
       ...he was good and not because I am.
       ...I was so awful.

he loved me because...
       ...he was patient and kind and sweet.
       ...he wanted to honor and respect me.
     ...he believed in me.
       ...I am intelligent and kind.
...I am worthy of love.

Performed by The Singers—Minnesota Choral Artists
(Dr. Matthew Culloton, conductor).